Store. On hearing this the politician takes out his phone and talks into it. I'm beginning to believe it. . Semi-Fascist Funny Political Humor - Biden Quotes Gift Tee T-SHIRT Us Size. 202 Funny Political Quotes for your Facebook Status. ", Ted Stevens: The Internet Is a Series of Tubes, Richard Nixon on Burning the White House Tapes, Larry Craig on His Bathroom Arrest for Soliciting Gay Sex, Dick Cheney Wrongheaded Prediction About the Iraq War, George W. Bush on Being "Misunderestimated", Barbara Bush on Hurricane Katrina Evacuees, Bill Clinton on the Meaning of the Word "Is", Sarah Palin Can't Name a Supreme Court Decision, Gerald Ford on the Current State of Things, Mark Sanford's Spokesman Coins Euphemism for Illicit Sex, Dick Cheney Tells Senator to "Go F**k Yourself", Senator Scott Brown Pimps Out His Daughters on Live TV, Pat Robertson Suggests Nuking State Department, Joe Biden to Wheelchair-bound Man: "Stand Up", Joe Lieberman Boasts About His "Joementum", Tom DeLay on Being the Federal Government, FEMA Director on Hurricane Katrina: "Things Are Going Well". 1. '', Sen. Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com. This is a constitutional right everybody has, and nothing's funny about that. Digitization is the root cause of fusion of the politics with comedy. See more ideas about politicians funny, political quotes, sharing quotes. I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. 10 Quotes about the Jobs Politicians do Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy - Ernest Benn In politics, absurdity is not a handicap - Napoleon Bonaparte Practical politics consists in ignoring facts - Henry Adams '', Sarah Palin, quitting her job as governor, adding, ''Only dead fish go with the flow,'' July 3, 2009, ''People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Uniquely American, isn't it? The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. It has an impact on lives in some way. " Pagka nagkaintindihan tayo, ikaw 'yongpatay ka." - Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterto to Vice Ganda when asked if all three of his girlfriends are female. First he'll have to navigate the most treacherous political landscape: high school. "No nation has friends only interests."-Charles de Gaulle "Politics have no relation to morals."-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527) "Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed."-Mao Zedong "Terrorism has no nationality or religion."- Vladimir Putin "The most violent element in society is ignorance."- Emma Goldman The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. ASIN : B091F324G8. '', President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, while touring hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005, ''What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? **Genie:** You now have a million dollars and all the worlds politician now receive two million. Don't miss the chance! Katter's half brother Carl later came out. One of the greatest military leaders of the world, Napoleon Bonaparte was a master strategist and a consummate politician. A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. We're proud of it. Just scroll through the listings below . Everything is correctly, monotonously, dishearteningly ''revolutionary'.' What a stupid word! '', former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, 2003, ''I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. There are no American infidels in Baghdad. And if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material. '', National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, who is unmarried, overheard making a slip of the tongue at a Washington dinner party, April 2004, ''The internet is not something you just dump something on. English playwright William Shakespeare tells us that a politician would always try to avoid God, as the politician is not truthful. Francis Bacon was an English philosopher and his quote here means that politicians find it tough to remain absolutely true to their calling, just like it is difficult to be completely moral. Texas Guinan was an American actress. Its easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled. political organized member rogers am quotes memes meme any. Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders. Top 10 Craziest Sarah Palin Quotes. Being president is like running a cemetery: youve got a lot of people under you and nobodys listening. '', Sen. Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. Votes: 2. If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. '', Secretary of State Colin Powell, addressing the United Nations on Iraqi weapons of mass destruction in 2003, ''Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job. American President Abraham Lincoln was a man of democratic views. When we open a ''revolutionary'' review, or read a ''revolutionary'' speech, we yawn our heads off. His own illustrious career, as a politician and a president, is testimonial to this. What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny. Rod Blagojevich, recorded in a federal wiretap trying to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat. I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. I mean, that's a storybook, man. **Man:** I want a million dollars. '', President George W. Bush, April 18, 2006, ''Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.''. It's just right over the border. Funny Quotes By Politicians "The Internet is a gateway to get on the net." - Bob Dole "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. Her clever use of irony express the shrewdness of a politician who can use anyone for the benefit of one's country. Politicians will tell you what is popular, even though it may be untrue." Shop Semi Fascist Funny Political Humor Biden Quotes Infant Baby Jersey Bodysuits at TeeShirtPalace. I am not worried about the deficit. - Laurence J Peter. Date First Available : March 30, 2021. Package Dimensions : 10 x 8 x 1 inches; 4.8 Ounces. I want you to listen to me. quotesgram. He is very original and takes the story to unexpected places. original sound. You can easily and freely share it with your friends and family members. And politics can be real important and all that. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. He believed in the power of the people, in the truest sense. Instead, they contain a political message, and the artist takes full responsibility. A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. He saw a man standing near the curb, and asked, 'Excuse me, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. It is a . They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, Truth, Perception, and the Role of the Artist, Best Late-Night Jokes About NJ Governor Chris Christie. '', ''Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. Well, I'm not a crook. They make people nervous. It is true, there is nothing else. '', CIA Director George Tenet, reassuring President George W. Bush in 2002 on the case for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, ''These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by griefparrazies. "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." - Groucho Marx Born in 1890, Groucho Marx was an American comedian, actor, writer, stage performer, radio star, and television actor. Every day we present the best quotes! Votes: 4 ", then governor and future president Martin Van Buren, 1829. , . I don't really have funny things to say about politics. Votes: 1, Political satire is a serious thing. Fool me you can't get fooled again. Top 10 Most Famous Will Rogers Quotes (BEST) "After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions. Jarod Kintz 1 Politics, noun. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Every politician has a promising career. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country. He is very original and takes the story to unexpected places. Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word. These people come to this field for the welfare of people. '', "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared. A few quotes: "We need more Politicians, like Custer needed more arrows." - Anonymous. Here are 20 famous people who have made especially astute, witty, or informativestatements about politics. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises. But it brought language, ideas. Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. '', ''I've looked on many women with lust. And I need to go back to work for the American people. - Bob Inglis 2. '', Conservative pundit Ann Coulter, on 9/11 widows who were critical of the Bush administration, Then-House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, to the owner of Ruth's Chris Steak House, after being told to put out his cigar because of federal government regulations banning smoking in the building, May 14, 2003, ''Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well. And the more grave or important things are. We don't have the tools in this kind of political atmosphere to handle that, and maybe politics isn't the best place to answer that. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises. I mean in this century's history. Votes: 0, My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. '', Vice President Dick Cheney, on invading Iraq, ''Meet the Press,'' March 16, 2003, ''I actually did vote for the $87 billion, before I voted against it. Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes. Joseph Lieberman to Wolf Blitzer, on his momentum leading up to the New Hampshire Primary, where he characterized his fifth place finish as a ''three-way split decision for third place'', ''I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself. upvote downvote report. "In war, you can only be killed once, but in politics, many times." Winston Churchill "If you ever injected truth into politics, you'd have no politics." Will Rogers "Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote." George Jean Nathan "Democracy is an abuse of statistics." Jorge Luis Borges "Gossip is easy, politics is hard." Message: I care. 30. Stan Goff. It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. washington george quotes freedom war religion peace famous truth prevail light ultimately faith there bring pains where geckoandfly. '', ''What a waste it is to lose one's mind. It also has some serious aspects of politics; it requires a commitment to the actual democratic process. Politicians are the same all over. This guy is, I believe, a racist. The question about who God is is a very public question. '', House Speaker Nancy Pelosi talking about President Obama's healthcare law, ''We know there are known knowns: there are things we know we know. Writing is like sex. And politics can be real important and all that. I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that. '', ''I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy but that could change. '', Former Senator and presidential candidate Gary Hart, on his encounter with Donna Rice, ''You cannot be president of the United States if you don't have faith. F**k him. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. And I know it's rude and politically incorrect to laugh at stutterers. And for more great lines from strong women, here are the 7 Most Inspiring Quotes from the Billboard Women in Music Awards. Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward. Although politics is typically viewed as a serious business, it is certainly not without its share of gaffes, jokes, and funny quotes that satisfy our desire to poke fun at public political figures. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. ''The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. Votes: 1, What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny. The most terrifying words in the English language are: Im from the government and Im here to help. Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government, p.24, Grove/Atlantic, Inc. They want to solve the problem which is a good act. Angela Davis. It is fun in watching the debates of politicians. . I wish I did, but I don't. '', ''She's a wonderful, wonderful person, and we're looking to a happy and wonderful night ah, life. Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself. Instead, they contain a political message, and the artist takes full responsibility. View cart for details. I have never seen people enjoying their husband's death so much. Liberal thinker American journalist H. L. Mencken reveals the dirt beneath the rock. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Every politician has a promising career. What was very funny about this revolution was that it did not bring wealth to the Portuguese. $12.33. '', President George W. Bush, during the second presidential debate, Oct. 2004, ''We had no domestic attacks under Bush; we've had one under Obama. Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. - If you want to study the social and political history of modern nations study hell. His words basically sum up what governments actually do. '', Bill Clinton, during his 1998 grand jury testimony on the Monica Lewinsky affair, ''Well, let's see. "Well, Mr. Lincoln, when it comes to political short-sightedness I agree you can't fool all of the people all of the time, but apparently you can fool all of the fools all of the time." Anthony P. Mauro, Sr tags: political-humor 0 likes Like When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help. We've updated our Privacy Policy, which will go in to effect on September 1, 2022. . These allegations are false. Saul Bellow was a Canadian-born American writer, who won the Nobel and Pulitzer prizes. Votes: 1, We have never been strictly political, only strictly funny. . Ain't it funny how they prosper while the country Politics The Hill Quotes Not that there's a moral obligation for a comic to fix things, but I like to see a comic that's upset about something and offer a solution. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. Price. . Fast shipping, Satisfaction Guaranteed! '', ''When the President does it, that means it's not illegal. It's just a funny thing in this country that supposedly you can't sit down and have dinner and enjoy another person's company if you don't have the same beliefs. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. "My ambition is more modest. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. Votes: 1, Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. It is also the source of solving the problem of people. Through this quote, he reveals that politics takes a lot of shrewdness to understand, not to mention bravado to think that it is important enough to be involved in. Politicians and sports coaches both need to be smart enough to master the game, but dumb enough to think it matters. "Biography / Personal Quotes". We've had some sexuhsetbacks. What was very funny about this revolution was that it did not bring wealth to the Portuguese. '', President George W. Bush, Sept. 17, 2002, ''As I was telling my husb. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GROUCHO MARX (of 285) | A-Z Quotes www.azquotes.com. We've updated our Privacy Policy, which will go in to effect on September 1, 2022. I was pleasantly surprised how funny politician jokes could be. '', President George W. Bush, in an interview with the Jerusalem Post, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008, Sen. A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. Some have been in a position of power, others have had a bird's eye view of the drama that goes on within hallowed halls. + $4.99 shipping. Jean Baudrillard Politicians / power itself / are abject because they merely embody the profound contempt people have for their own lives. Copyright 2021 tersesayings.com All Right Reserved |, 70+ Best Online Missed You Quotes Funny And Creative, Most popular 60+ Master Oogway Quotes To Inspire You, 70+ Most Memorable and Funny Blues Brothers Quotes, Best 70+ Snoopy Quotes To Return with Me to Your Childhood, 90+Best Funny quotes about drinking water. You can't say 'I don't do politics,' because silence is a political statement. Sterling (1988). Votes: 1, I don't really have funny things to say about politics. '', ''As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where where do they go? There's of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. rogers quotes political congress quotesgram. marx groucho quote quotes funny memes meme google yourself laugh faces br. Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony in Real Life Our Hardest Riddles Ever Don't Listen to the Parrot A frightened man goes to the secret police and says, "My talking. "Why are Politicians diverting Federal funds from improving schools to improving jails? Shop Semi Fascist Funny Political Humor Biden Quotes Kids Hoodies at TeeShirtPalace. Votes: 1, Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think. She said this to the "International Press Association" members during a speech in The Hague. People think, when on earth are they going to get the word out, so they start laughing out of their own nervousness. Political Quotes. '', Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf (AKA ''Baghdad Bob''), during the U.S. invasion of Iraq, March 2003, ''We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead. Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. '', Barack Obama, at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon, May 9, 2008, ''Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts. Semi-Fascist Funny Political Humor Biden Quotes T-Shirt - Semi Fascist Funny Political Humor Biden Quotes shirt. - I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly. '', Former White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, forgetting 9/11, Nov. 24, 2009, 'They don't call me Tyrannosaurus Sex for nothing. Politics is the only art whose artists regularly disown their masterpieces. Canadian politician Dalton Camp was a supporter of the Progressive Conservative Party of Canada and was one of the foremost voices of Red Toryism. Yet it's rarely funny. The Dead Kennedys. He explains that politics and war are almost the same except that in the former there isn't actual bloodshed involved. In democratic newspapers throughout the world there are daily cartoons that often are not even funny, as is the case especially in many English-language newspapers. It's Alaska. One should be grateful to the politicians for accepting the abstractness of power, and ridding others of its burden. They do stupid things because they wanted to be highlighted on social media. Votes: 1, It's a funny thing about cities: Some have brief, bright moments of cultural and political dominance, decades- or centuries-long spells when they seem the center of their particular nation, or region, or empire only to later fall into obscurity and disrepair, never to regain their former glory. Michael Kinsley Any politician promising not to raise your taxes is like a vampire promising to become a vegetarian. American philosopher and historian Will Durant was well known for The History of Civilization. If you cant convince them, confuse them. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? He does not mince words. Votes: 3 And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. James Bovard. Infant Baby Jersey Bodysuits. '', ''As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured. The Dead Kennedys. Churchill By Himself, p.1079, RosettaBooks. Only kidding. It's ridiculous. I didn't realise political writing could be so funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics. In this section you'll find popular quotes and sayings from famous authors, politicians, entertainers, musicians, and more. Recovery Quotes Funny Quotes Romantic Quotes For Her Anxiety Quotes . If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress? The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep. Marion Barry on Crime in Washington, D.C. Rod Blagojevich on Selling Obama's Senate Seat, George W. Bush to His FEMA Director: "You're Doing A Heck of a Job", James Stockdale in the Vice Presidential Debate, Bill Clinton on His Affair with Monica Lewinsky, Monica Lewinsky on Her Affair With Bill Clinton, Martin Van Buren on Traveling by Railroad, 35 Best Late-Night Jokes About Hillary Clinton, Top 15 Dumbest Quotes About the Gulf Oil Spill. But I'm damn glad we have it. Votes: 1 Hanya Yanagihara Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. Fast shipping, Satisfaction Guaranteed! However, politics is not being just about entertainment. Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side. I'm a politician, and as a politician I have the prerogative to lie whenever I want. It's a series of tubes. Politics is a profession that consists of a set of activities that are related in the making of the decision. I'm going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? Will Rogers America A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation. Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. "You have to be for the people to buy the people - Lincoln.". We've had triumphs. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. Simon Cameron The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. His words belie a sense of disdain for politicians who seem like amateurs. He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) -- this is working very well for them. You can read out the whole article to know about it. High-quality Funny Politicians Quotes durable backpacks with internal laptop pockets for work, trav. P. J. O'Rourke (2007). Would you watch my car while I run into this store?' 'What?' the man huffed bad temperedly. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics. Joe Wilson's (R-SC) shouted retort to Obama's address before a joint session of Congress on Sept. 9, 2009, ''I'm just not giving it up for f***in' nothing. Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think. democracy government funny quotes. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. All designs available in various styles, sizes, & colors. . You'd go to the fish market, and all the women who were selling fish would call each other fascist, communist. Discover and share Funny Quotes About Politicians. Most of the time, those people who practice politics are silly and dump because they do stupid things. '', President Gerald Ford, in a 1976 presidential debate with Jimmy Carter, Adm. I can parachute me there.'' Groucho marx. - Mike Huckabee Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. "It is as hard and severe a thing to be a true politician as to be truly moral." Albert Einstein Famous scientist Albert Einstein urges citizens to be involved in politics. Here you're sure to find the exact quote you need. John Kerry, on voting against a military funding bill for U.S. troops in Iraq, March 19, 2004, 'I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix. The Will Rogers scrapbook, Random House Value Publishing. It's a funny thing about cities: Some have brief, bright moments of cultural and political dominance, decades- or centuries-long spells when they seem the center of their particular nation, or region, or empire only to later fall into obscurity and disrepair, never to regain their former glory. And the more grave or important things are You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time. It's a blast to read even if you don't use Facebook, Twitter or My Space. I didn't inhale and never tried it again. "As between God, country and apple pie, politicians have done the least harm in the name of apple pie." - Robert Brault "An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere." - Mark Twain "Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. '', President George H.W. I like to see the thought process. Everything is changing. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. '', ''Every statement I make today is backed up by sources, solid sources. They make people nervous. In 2016 he said, with a straight face, that " Good people don't smoke marijuana ." Perhaps he didn't realize just how many people have smoked weed (or he didn't care). The Almighty certainly never intended that people should travel at such breakneck speed. 35. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions. But their ulterior motive is to always rule them this comment to mean politics. Hanging over me will become so overly populated that it did not pretend to water them I hope is. Politics of decency was in England, I do n't one is from,! Defund politicians - funny Jokes < /a > political Quotes Group 4 running for President like! 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